Bromantasy, the delightful romantic fantasy novel by Máire Roche, drops May 26. The book’s description of “Two heroes. One brain cell.” grabbed the attention of our own Aunt Libra, and she insisted on having the boys drop in to discuss their adventure. We were fortunate to receive this transcript of their talk.
Aunt Libra: Juniper O’Reilly and Morningthall Elmthorn! Welcome to my club, gentlemen. Watch your step. We are redecorating and still haven’t figured out where to house the plot bunnies. They keep popping up everywhere. Shoo!
Aunt Libra: (Sound of door opening.) Here we are, the receiving room. Make yourselves comfortable. My, your wanted posters don’t do you justice. So, how are you and how is Bear these days? And Mumford?
Juniper: Oh, things are great here. I’ve mostly corrected the wanted posters, so if you’ve seen some that still make my nose look like—
Mo: Most importantly, Bear is adjusting well. She and Juniper have their own separate cheese stashes, Bear and Mumford like to cozy up by the fire, and even the sheep are adjusting to Bear. They were, you know, a little …
Juniper: Afraid for their lives?
Mo: Concerned. We’ll go with concerned.
Aunt Libra: I’m sure she’s their first acquaintance of the dragonish persuasion. Oh, look. Here’s Jeeves with the charcuterie board in case you’re peckish. I know you’re a fan of cheese, Juniper. Remind me to make a little care package for your Bear before you leave. Questing can make one quite hungry for the finer things in life. Did you find that to be true when you went from your cozy farm life with plenty of cheese to questing for the king?
Juniper: Oh, it was terrible. Did you know that quests don’t come with indoor plumbing? Or indoor …anything? The camping life is not for me. Thanks for the cheese, though. Do you happen to have some rowan berry spread to accompany it?
Aunt Libra: I’m afraid not. But there’s some lovely guava paste from my visit to Frida Kahlo.
Mo: Importantly, I wouldn’t say either of us went on the quest for the king. He’s more of—
Juniper: An unfortunate side effect.
Mo: Exactly.
Aunt Libra: I have always found quests to be romantic in description but exhausting in execution. However, you seem to have had some interesting revelations on the trail. Could you tell us more about this?
Mo: Juniper is actually an expert tracker, and he didn’t seem exhausted by it on the road. He can find a trail anywhere. Mostly at home he uses it to find stashes of acorns we can use for acorn flour, but on the trail, he helped us find Bear.
Juniper: I mean, I hate quests. But anything can be romantic if your best friend is with you. Mo, I think she’s talking about the—y’know, the romance bit.
Mo: Oh. I mean, I thought that part was clear. I’m obsessed with Juniper.
Juniper: Keep going. I like this. Tell me more about how you’re obsessed with me?
Mo: Mmmm.
Aunt Libra: Oh, my. (Sound of fan being opened and waved.) Speaking of quests, have you and Bill Brunson finally buried the hatchet, Juniper? One mustn’t overlook potential friends, especially when your husbands have so much in common.
Mo: They’re a very friendly couple. I’d say it’s more of a friendly rivalry between those two now, right Junebug?
Juniper: Sure. But I wouldn’t bury a hatchet if Bill was around. I’d keep it on my belt, just in case. Don’t look at me like that, Mo.
Aunt Libra: I do hope all is resolved, and that ridiculous Prince Edward no longer has a bounty on either of you. Where do things stand with Prince Edward and Princess Fern? And did you ever introduce Mo to Fern’s henchwoman Jax, Juniper?
Juniper: I’ll be taking this question, because anytime Mo talks about the king, and the prince, and the government, we end up getting ourselves in … a bit of trouble. But yes, we no longer have a bounty on our heads, and the royals are leaving us alone.
As for Jax, well, I wish her well, but I hope I don’t see any of those women again. They terrify me.
Aunt Libra: Terrifying women aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. I understand that you’re a fan of light adventuring, Mo. One assumes that raising a young dragon is quite adventuresome without ever leaving home, but might there be more adventures ahead for the two of you?
Mo: I prefer my adventures to be a little day trip into the forest with my husband, or a hike with Bear. We both like foraging and being home for supper.
Juniper: Yes, raising a kid is enough of an adventure. And after this time, I’m beginning to mistrust any quest the king wants to send people on. Who knows how many kids we’d adopt if we went on another quest?
Mo: One is more than enough for us.
Juniper: Do all kids eat the food right off of your plate? And break into your super-secret cheese stash? And point out the pimple you’re already insecure about?
Mo: I think so, yes.
Aunt Libra: It sounds like you’re adapting well to the delights of fatherhood. Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me, gentlemen. You are always welcome at my club. Now before we go, are there any additional juicy nuggets of gossip you might want to share?
Juniper: Oh, you’ll have to go to the gossip scrolls if you want tea. I’m a reformed man. I never gossip, except if I didn’t know better, I heard someone at the tavern in town talking about their grandmam hearing from Bill’s grandmam—
Mo: What he means to say is that it probably isn’t his business.
Juniper: But if it was—
Mo: Junebug.
Juniper: Morningthall.
Mo: …
Juniper: Anyway, Bill and Phteven are moving. Out to a farm near us. There’s rumor that they might sign up for another werewolf-related quest, too.
Mo: …
Juniper: What? It’s going to be public news soon, anyway!
Mo: Thank you for having us, Aunt Libra. I have to get Juniper home before he shares other news—
Juniper: Like the one about Fern’s henchwoman, Rosa? And her next quest?
Mo: Hush. See you next time, Aunt Libra. We’re off to get some cheese and mead before we head back to our farm.
Juniper: If I have more gossip, I’ll drop you a scroll!
Aunt Libra: Please do! I’d love to hear more about this Rosa. Give my regards to Bear and Mumford, and don’t trip on the plot bunnies on your way out.
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