An Author’s Exploration Into Magical Realism & First Love

Again and Again Back to You by Andrea Ezerins

If you had the chance to revisit a lost love from your past, would you? That’s the question posed by Andrea Ezerins, author of Again and Again Back to You — a book that’s part romance, part historical fiction, part spiritual exploration. We got a chance to talk with the author herself about everything that went into this book; the cultural reset of the 1970s, traditions of spirituality from across the world and the question of what it means for each and every one of us to be brave.

Q: Did you draw inspiration from any specific mystical or spiritual traditions when creating the concept of a channeler who can transport people to explore the road not taken?

A: I pulled inspiration from the idea that the Far East has thousands of years of healing practices that focuses not only on the body but also the mind which is understood to have the greater healing power. So, I had Cholan, the channeler, hail from Sri Lanka. I worked to make channeling as “real” as possible, throwing in Schrodinger’s cat references to help explain the concept and MIT grad students for gravitas.

I came up with the idea of “channeling” as I didn’t want or need the complexity of time travel or a time loop as these things are obstacles in their own right. Instead, I went with the idea of being able to peek at the road not taken.

Q: In your opinion, what makes first love so enduring and significant in shaping one’s life?

A: You never forget your first love, do you? It is when you realize the world is bigger and deeper, holding more mysteries than you ever imagined. Most first love is fleeting but what if, instead that love gets frozen in time? That is when this story started to jell for me. I used the impact of first love to shape the characters as they grew and evolved. Showing the lasting impact as Marta and Kevin grapple with whether they are soulmates or if it is just a sweet memory of their long-ago love. Cholan the channeler believes they are truly soulmates and channeling ultimately gives them the answers they seek.

Q: If you could use the channeler’s powers to revisit a moment in your life and explore a different path, which moment would you choose and why?

A: This still causes me guilt and discomfort. I was in third or fourth grade and we had a girl in our class that was on the larger side and whose clothes were occasionally messy and dirty. Kids teased her a lot. While I don’t think I did anything directly, I certainly didn’t help her in any way. As an adult, I realize she probably had a difficult home life and as her peers, we made her school life miserable too. I’d like to go back to elementary school and be kinder to Patty. Kindness makes the world such a better place.

Q: How did you approach writing the emotional landscape of Marta’s life? Were there challenges in balancing her past regrets with her present choices?

A: I worked to demonstrate, as Marta is growing up, that she feels out of step with others. I wove in stories from my husband and his sister and how they felt being second generation immigrants like Marta. Through introspection, Marta reveals her regret at how her life is turning out and struggles to be a braver version of herself. It’s only when she faces a truly traumatic event that she finds the inner strength to take a risky path and go after her dreams.

A scene that shows Marta trying to overcome her past regrets is when she gets a chance to channel. Thrilled, she jumps at the opportunity ready to see what might have been. Instead, she ends up being too scared to do it. Marta is devastated, especially when she sees the impact channeling has on Lily who took Marta’s place.

Q: The 1970’s were rich with complex and dynamic themes and cultural shifts in entertainment and music. What aspects of the 1970s were most intriguing for you to explore, and how did you decide which elements to incorporate into Marta and Kevin’s story?

A: I love the idea of music helping to establish the place of a book. I chose Don McLean’s American Pie as the song to do that. It includes themes of change, loss and nostalgia from the 70’s, capturing the spirit of that generation. These themes resonate with Marta and Kevin’s story. The song has the rare quality of timelessness as it has remained relevant. Everyone knows the words even though we may struggle to understand their meaning. The song is an important connection point for Marta and Kevin. Like the rest of us, Marta wonders what the song is about, and she comes to understand for them as a couple, it’s one long goodbye.

Q: How do you define bravery in the context of this story, and do you believe it’s a trait that can evolve over time?

A: I want readers to take away the message of how bravery and empowerment evolves over time and through your life experiences. Bravery for Marta means going after her dreams and not worrying about what others think. She struggles with this throughout the novel. She has an inner critic that sets her on a safe path instead of allowing her to follow her dreams. Marta becomes adept at hiding her insecurities from the world, but the inner voice is always there. She reaches an important juncture in her life where she refuses to listen to her inner voice any longer. She instead discards all the trappings she has carefully constructed for her life and starts living on her own terms. But it took a traumatic and important event before she was able to find her inner strength.

First Love Gets a Second Chance in Emotional, Visionary Novel

Check out the Book Trailer for Again and Again Back to You here:

Andrea Ezerins grew up in a small town where she was raised on a small hobby farm. She earned a bachelor’s degree in business administration at the University of Connecticut, and went on to spend thirty years working in the insurance industry. She finished Again and Again Back to You, a labor of love, thanks in no small part to the pandemic and an empty nest, where distractions suddenly were reduced to only a spoiled German shepherd and the many bluebird families that nest in her boxes. Andrea has two daughters and identical twin sons. She resides in Hebron, Connecticut, with her husband.